Even if you have been looking forward to becoming a mother your whole life, the emotional rollercoaster of early motherhood can be a big shock. At Grace Private, we understand that becoming a mother is a big life change, and soon after the birth of your baby, you can find yourself flooded with all kinds of emotions, everything from immense joy to grief. And it’s all completely normal.
When we fall pregnant, the majority of the focus falls on the pregnancy and the birth, but once we have a baby, it feels like life before the baby disappears overnight. Changes in routine, your body, priorities and of course, your social life, mean your life looks completely different than it did before.
These changes can leave you feeling like a stranger to yourself, longing for the version of you that existed before motherhood. But don’t be hard on yourself, because missing your old life doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.
There are all types of grief, including grieving the loss of freedom, spontaneity and your career identity. With the changes in your life can come a certain level of sadness, but remember, both grief and gratitude can exist side by side.
While being exceptionally grateful for your baby, you can feel the weight of what’s shifted. Missing the slow mornings, uninterrupted sleep, or doing things in your own time doesn’t make you ungrateful, it just makes you human. This kind of grief is quiet and often goes unspoken, but acknowledging it is a powerful step towards healing and adjusting to this new normal.
You may not notice it right away, but the journey through motherhood quietly builds resilience, patience and strength. This often unseen transformation happens as you carry out small, daily acts like feeding, soothing and showing up for your little one.
It’s in these everyday moments that a new version of you is growing, stronger, softer, and wiser. You’re not just taking care of a baby; you’re transforming into a whole new part of yourself.
When we talk about acceptance, it’s not about loving every single moment, it’s about accepting all your different feelings and giving yourself the space to sit in the different emotions you’re experiencing. Your identity isn’t lost, it’s just been reshaped – so be kind to yourself during this transition.
If you’ve been feeling like you’ve lost your identity, you’re not alone, these emotions are shared by many new mums. During this time, it’s important to lean on your support network, whether it’s friends, your partner, or family members. Talking about how you feel can make a big difference to how you feel.
At Grace Private, our Gold Coast psychologists understand the emotional challenges that come with the transition from work life to motherhood. Whether you’re grieving your old identity, feeling overwhelmed, or just need someone to talk to, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Remember, you’re still evolving, just in a new direction that requires you to maintain connection and plenty of self-compassion. If you would like someone to talk to, reach out to one of our psychologists, Karen White or Kerryn Blunt today.
